Day Four:
Romans 6:14 (KJV) For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.
I remember when I was a young Christian and I tried. I tried and I tried and I tried until I grew too tired of trying to try anymore. Then, I felt the backsliding of my soul as the world opened its doors and I walked through them without knowing that I was, in fact, embracing the darkness that would fall all over my soul as I searched, relentlessly, for the light that would cover me in His hope, His peace, His amazing grace. Grace that I needed and grace that would show me a love far bigger than my sin, far greater than my doubt, far more alive than I could have ever imagined. This is the grace that I longed for as my weak heart worked so hard to find ways to be the perfect Christian that I was sure other Christians were.
It took me many years, rivers of tears and so many of the darkest fears, before I knew what it means to find the truth of His love, the grace that is willing to restore, reassure, remind that love this alive is love that will survive my doubts, my confusion, my fears and tears, all the reasons that I felt less than the other Christians I came into contact with. Because of His grace, finally, I found that I didn’t need to fight the darkness or battle through until I changed into the woman who “deserved” His grace. In fact, finally, I realized I could never deserve His grace and that, in fact, is what grace is – the unmerited favor of One who is willing to take you as you are, sinner – reprobate – criminal. Because of a grace that overpowers the darkness of our souls, I could finally find peace in the assurance that – through grace, I was saved and through grace, I didn’t have to struggle with the sin anymore. Because, under grace, I would discover that HE Himself would change me from the offender to the believer who could feel complete because His love, His grace, is poured out in every inch of the life that once felt like a duty, but now – because of grace, feels like music, poetry, beautiful.
Because He saved me, because He bought me – He taught me that His grace is stronger than any sin or mistake. His grace is so powerful that nothing I could ever do or ever say or ever think could possibly destroy the salvation that He gave me when I came to Him with a broken spirit, a contrite heart, and gave to Him the pieces of my life – so He could, through His grace, fix me back in a way that brought glory to Himself, the One who provides the soul with everything it will ever need – the grace that makes a way through everything that life might bring.
A Prayer & A Promise:
Dear Lord, I couldn’t possibly find the words to say what it means to me that You saved me and You gave me a NEW me. Because of You, the grace that only You could have given and the love that silences all my demons, I know what it is to truly change. You didn’t just pick me up and dust me off, apply a coat of paint to make me look a bit better. No. You picked me up and pulled every thread of my sin from my being. You re-stitched and re-made. You taught me what it means to live under grace, to have the hope of better that comes from knowing that Your love is alive and it is breathing light through my spirit. Because of You, Your love, Your grace – I know what it is to change in a way that feels like I truly am a new creation, a new being, a new soul. You reminded me that I don’t need to struggle without ever feeling like I’m going to change. You reminded me that I don’t need to fight my way out of the muck and the mire of my sin. You reminded me that ONLY YOU have the power to make me into a new woman. You remade me and I can never thank You enough for the changes. Without Your grace I’d never know what it means to feel free, truly free. Thank You, Lord, for giving me the grace to change and grow in faith so that I feel like Your love is flowing through my veins, Your blood is covering all my sins and the only thing I need to do is love You with all that I am. And, I do love You, with everything in me.
Faith is a living, daring confidence in God's grace, so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times. ~ Martin Luther
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